I can't correlate a specific tone with its named note. I appreciate and listen to music, and I've tried quite a lot in my life to create music, but I really don't have a sense of pitch. As a reader (and writer) I think all these words are familiar (the names of the feelings), but it's hard for me to describe them. I haven't yet thought about what to do about it, I've just been sitting with the knowledge and awareness of it. It seems to describe so much of how I experience feelings but I never had the language for it before. Shortly after I was diagnosed, on a googling binge, I discovered alexithymia (through ) and was really amazed by it. Therapy was always challenging for me, and my autism diagnosis shed light on why. “Anxious, because I don't know how I feel.” “You have a tendency to intellectualize,” my therapist said, and I wondered what she was talking about. I recalled my experiences in therapy in which I struggled to answer endless variations on and how do you feel about that? Reading about this for the first time, I was intrigued. It can vary from person to person, with some not identifying as feeling emotions at all, while others find it difficult to differentiate between the mess of emotions they experience. “Alexithymia is a personality trait characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions experienced by one’s self,” according to Wikipedia. I sought the diagnosis because of issues with sleep and executive functioning that were negatively impacting my life, but reading one of autistic social psychologist Devon Price ’s posts post-diagnosis I learned about alexithymia, too. In my imagination, at least.Īt four and a half years sober, aged 37, I was diagnosed with autism. My numbness didn’t worry me - I didn’t even notice it (numbness if good like that.) Besides, not crying was a kind of super skill, right? I had a warped sense of humor and nothing much fazed me. How could he be dead? He was my sweet and silly granddad! I joked I was dead inside because I never cried.Įven when my beloved grandfather died I found myself unable to feel the grief of it. I was a Class A softy who would spend half an hour rescuing a bee without a second thought. I thought this was funny because I didn’t really believe it was true. Supporting the development of children’s emotional literacy is the key to shaping emotionally, mentally and physically healthy and happy lives.When I was heavy drinking in my 20s I used to joke that I was dead inside. But learning how to identify and accept our emotions as they happen and react to them intelligently is one of the most important skills we can have. It’s important to acknowledge that we are not going to be happy and joyous during every moment of our lives. Many children (and often adults too) struggle to understand their feelings which makes it very difficult to articulate them or express them in an appropriate way. We all experience a range of emotions every day. Why is emotional literacy important for kids? She wasn’t able to resist the instant gratification of reacting negatively to her anger with an explosive outburst. Hannah needs help to develop her emotional literacy because she acted impulsively. She demonstrates self-control and manages her feelings by thinking about the situation and choosing to take appropriate steps rather than reacting at that moment. Lilly has demonstrated emotional literacy by recognising her anger and reflecting on why she feels this way. When playtime ends, Hannah spends the rest of the school day shut down and withdrawn, not really participating in the lessons. She feels angry about this too and yells at her teacher that it isn’t fair before storming out of the classroom and slamming the door and heading outside. Hannah also forgets to do her homework one week and has to miss playtime. Lilly’s self-esteem is boosted and she is motivated to continue to stay organised and complete her homework in the future. Her teacher is impressed with the work she hands in and she feels good about herself. That week she makes a really good effort with her homework and puts it in her bag the night before it’s due so that she won’t forget it. When the class are given new homework that afternoon she writes the task down to help her remember. She recognises that she is feeling angry and manages her emotions by reflecting on the situation before reacting. She feels angry about not being allowed out to play. Lilly forgets to do her homework one week and has to stay in at playtime to do it. In this example, both Lilly and Hannah experience the same situation but deal with their feelings about it very differently… What is an example of emotional literacy?Ī good way to understand emotional literacy is through a scenario.
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